We have been having a terrific visit with Monica from DC.  We went to Temecula yesterday, and while the places were nice enough, I think I was spoiled by Napa.  The wines were not even close to the quality.  But, the company was good, the weather was nice and it was a beautiful drive.  On Sunday, we had some folks over to welcome Monica to Palm Springs.  There were eight of us total – Blade and Ralph, Tony and Bill (neighbors from down the street) and Donovan.  Plus the three of us made eight.  Lots of laughs by the pool and then after they left, we just nibbled and watched some TV, then bed.

Today, we went to the stroke center and when we drove into the parking lot I noticed that Holly’s car wasn’t there. I checked my phone and had a message from Holly, that she had to cancel, which she left while I was in the shower.  So, back home for a bit and then off to tennis.  Monica was very impressed with David’s hitting, as I am.  We had tennis from noon to one, and had speech with Arlene at 1:30.  As we drove onto Country Club Dr, David pointed at his watch and let me know he was confused why were were there so early.  I became confused and thought, wrongly, that our appointment was at 2pm and suggested that we go and grab a coffee.  Monica offered to run in and grab the coffee, because she knew that our appointment was at 1:30 and I said that we had time to sit and drink the coffee.  When we came out with the coffee, and sat down, she looked at her watch and said that she thought we should go because it was now after 1:30.  It was at this point that I realized that we were supposed to be there at 1:30, and jumped in the car and got there only about 10 minutes late for our appointment.  Needless to say, Arlene kept saying not to worry, we weren’t late, even though we were.

Then home for a quick nap for David and a swim for me and Monica.  Very nice.  Then, off again to Blade and PT.  David really is doing very well.  First at speech, we was saying compound words with regularity, which is a marked improvement, and then with Blade, his walking is getting better and better all the time.  He doesn’t see it, but I do.

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I have gotten a few emails asking about more details of David’s prognosis, and thought that this might be a time to fill you all in.  As I write in the blog (even tonight), David continues to make progress, and works very hard.  We had a discussion with Arlene today about how difficult it is to hear about folks who have strokes who then sit down and write about getting back to normal relatively quickly (I have also written about these here) and generally the say it is by simply force of will.  If that were all it took, I can assure you, David would be running and jumping and telling horrible stories about how badly I have been treating him.  Sadly, it is not as simple as that.  I won’t say that these folks who write about their struggles didn’t have to overcome some daunting obstacles, but nothing is ever that easy.  I hate to quote something that was said to me (and irritated me) many times early on in this process, but, every stroke is like a snowflake, and no two are alike.  There are similarities, but, just when you think you have met someone who is dealing with what you are, you discover there are dramatic differences.  David has been pressing all his therapists for timelines and when they think he will be “better”, and thye all dodge the question, but my take-a-way is that we will see in six months.  I feel pretty confident that he will be walking sometime in the next six months without his cane.  I feel less confident that he will be speaking with any regularity within the next year, but we will continue to work on his speaking, and his communication gets better and better all the time.  His right arm may never come back, but I think that part of that is because we have been concentrating so much on his walking and it will become more of a focus in the fall.  We will have to see.

For me, I feel like I am performing a balancing act between my hopes and the reality.  Thrilled with all little gifts that we get.  For David, I think he expects much more from himself, and is not impressed by his gains.  As you all know, I am not a doctor, and I am only speaking from my perspective and this all comes from what I have gleaned from what I have been told and folks I have met who are recovering from strokes.  It does bear repeating that David is absolutely himself – the good, the bad, the funny, the ugly, the loving, and, to quote Alex, the relentless man I fell in love with 18 years ago.  He will continue to work and improve and I will try to help him in any way that I can, but as we all know, nobody can predict the future.