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Wednesday, September 12

We are grandparents!  A bit before 10am, I got a text from Alex that he and Claire were at the hospital, and at 3:26pm, I got another text that the baby had arrived and Mother, Baby and Dad were all doing well.  At 3:33pm, I got an email from Claire as well – now I hope you are relaxing!

Today was Davids first full day at the Jewish Home, and we saw the Physical and Occupational Therapists in the morning and then in the afternoon.  It was a day for assessments, so there wasn’t too much work, but he did some walking, sitting up, putting shoes on and off, and got his new wheelchair.  We also took a stroll to the garden out back, and sat for about half an hour.  It was great to get out in the fresh air.

In the afternoon we had a visit from Betsy Downes and her daughter, which was terrific and thanks for the gifts – the pastries were a nice finish to dinner tonight for David!  We were then joined by Peter and Mary Clute, and had a very nice visit with all.  Davids reputation for visitors has begun!  He was a little emotional today, and maybe it is a combination of the baby, new surroundings and new therapists, but I think he will be better tomorrow.

Now for some pictures of the happy family and Dad and Son.

The Happy Family
Alex, Claire and Theodore David Fong-Shapiro

Alex and Baby
Alex and Theodore David Fong-Shapiro

Photos for the day

Okay so now David is at the Jewish home resting comfortably and I just got back home and I think It’s going to be good. The nurses aide seems attentive, and he has a private room with a huge window overlooking 106th St (Duke Ellington Blvd).  The trip is a relatively short subway ride from home, and I will work over the next few days to find ways to include a walk into the trip, either by getting off the train before the 103rd Street stop, or some other creative way.

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Victoria, York, Scott, David, Shonda, Amanda, Marlyse, Andrew and Diana (L to R)
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Victoria, Deborah, Scott, David, Amanda, Andrew and Marlyse (L to R)
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Steph, ?, Liat, Scott (Back L to R) York, David, Amanda and Melissa (Front L to R)

Tomorrow we will meet David’s new team of therapists.  We met the Doctor today, and one of the nurses, and his evening nurses aide.  Tomorrow I will get to work on making the room nicer to be in.  No visits today, and I hope that nobody went to HJD expecting to see David!

Tuesday, September 11 – Moving Day

We got word that the move is happening today any minute now. We will be at the Jewish Home by this afternoon.
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I will write more tonight, but David had good Speech, Physical and Occupational Therapies, along with a parade of staff who are stopping by to say good-bye.

Monday, September 10

David between therapies
David waiting for the Amanda, the OT

The picture to the left is David waiting for the Occupational Therapist this morning.  He is wearing the T-Shirt that Paula brought for him from Brazil.  Bridgette, I thought you might like to see the shirt from Sao Paulo!  David is staying one more night at HJD, but will probably be moving tomorrow. It will be very bittersweet, because he has become attached with the therapists particularly.  There is another video of him walking without the contraption, but using just the chair.  He is still getting lots of help from Steph and York, but it is a big step for him which is great.  He also was doing more exercises for his arm, and is getting a little more strength there as well.  He has begun saying words that he doesn’t mean to say.  Like “teacher” which he will say at the oddest times, when he means to say someone else.  At first I thought he was saying it for the therapists, but I think it is just a catch all for almost any person.  Liat says that is normal, and actually a good sign.  I’ll take that.

As I said, I am looking forward to his move because hopefully he will get a private room.  It was almost impossible for him to do Speech Therapy in the room because his roommate was making such a ruckus.  I mean, you can’t blame him, but it just seems wrong to subject other patients to that, and everyone is coming by and apologizing,  but that doesn’t help him sleep better at night or help him concentrate during Speech Therapy.

We had a visit from Randy Miller, Lynn’s son, which was very nice.  Lynn sent lovely flowers, which were beautiful, and matched Miss Piggy’s gown!  Other than Randy, and the therapists, it was a slow day, and I packed up a lot of stuff and brought it home so we won’t have so much to bring uptown tomorrow (if we actually go tomorrow!)  I am hopeful though.


Sunday, September 9

May I be candid with you?

I feel that we have bonded.

I want to get drunk.

Fall down, obnoxious, one of those people you see in the streets on a Saturday evening near a college or university, drunk.

I won’t, but I want to.  I think just to lose control a little, for just a moment or an hour or the night!

I spent most of the day with David, and we had a nice FaceTime chat with Claire and Alex (still patiently waiting for our Grandchild to arrive) and soon after we were joined by Sheila and then Jackie stopped by.  She won’t tell you about it, but here is the link to her TED Talk.  Thanks for sharing and Peace be with you and you shouldn’t be modest.  And then Phyllis came by when dinner was being consumed – it amazes me that he has such an appetite.  I made a wonderful salad with the tomatoes that Jonathan and Sheryl brought yesterday.  One mistake though – I put it in the bag with the laundry that I did last night, and I’m just getting ready to fold the clothes that had to be re-laundered because the dressing leaked in the bag.  He enjoyed the salad though!

David is a little concerned about moving, and seemed shocked when I said that he could possibly be moving tomorrow.  Jackie reminded him that he had told her that he might be moving tomorrow, and he had to concede.  Also, after today, and his neighbor’s episodes caused by the laxative that his nurse gave him, I would think that he would be looking forward to getting out and being in a private room (fingers crossed!)  His neighbor yells a lot, but not nearly as loudly (or obnoxiously) as his wife.  I might add that she goes to the corner for a sandwich or two whenever there is an episode.  Was that mean?  Maybe I want to me drunk and mean!  Impossible!

Saturday, September 8

The train back from DC was uneventful, and when I got to NY I spoke to Joy who spent the morning with David. He also had a visit from Liz and Electa. I got to the hospital at about 1 pm, and David’s new roommate is not what I would call quiet, so I think the move to the Jewish home, and hopefully a private room will make a difference. Of course, I have admit that when David’s parade of visitors started coming – Jonathan Deull and Sheryl Sturges, Maggie from UNIS, Becca and Greg, Ziad and Sandra, Maria and her husband (whose name, which was interesting and unusual escapes me at this moment, so Maria, send it to me), Brian from UNIS. it was quite a day, and thanks to the visitors who did a great job of arranging their times so we never had the room bursting at the seams!

After getting David ready for bed, I came home, and have relaxed for most of the evening. more tomorrow, and I will put information on the move as soon as I know.

Friday, September 7

Well, it is early, so the news on the Foreign Service is not good.  I didn’t make the grade.  You know they said “you should be very proud that you made it this far, blah, blah, blah” which is true, but doesn’t make you feel any better.  I did well, just didn’t make the cutoff.  I can always go back again next year!  There was one of the candidates who said a friend of hers took the oral assessment seven times before getting in.  I don’t think I could do seven times, but maybe one more stab at it.  I also felt like I was in very good company – two of the folks who didn’t make it either were lawyers and another had her Phd in Mandarin, so not to shabby company!  The strange thing was, I passed the part that I thought I didn’t do so well in, and didn’t in the other two parts that I thought I did well in.  Who knows!

I spoke to David (thanks Liz) and told him the whole story, and he actually sounds like he is speaking more.  Marjorie Ellenbogen also sent me an email saying that she thinks he is talking more too.  I can’t wait to get back tomorrow to check up on him!!

Thursday, September 6

I spent the morning with David before heading home and then to Penn Station for my 3pm train to DC.  He did Physical Therapy with York and Occupational Therapy with Amanda.  He is getting stronger with his right leg, and they are working on getting him able to straighten the leg and lock his knee.  York said that later today he would walk again – practice, practice, practice.  Amanda retaped his shoulder to keep everything in place and and did some exercises to strengthen his right arm.  His right arm is still very weak, but seems to get a bit more each day.

I got a note from Gwen Lipsky who brought David dinner tonight, and they had a nice dinner and were joined by Hilary Ainger who brought chocolate, and they had a nice evening.

When I got to DC, I took a trial walk to the State Department building where the Oral Assessment is tomorrow at 7am.  I am not sure if I will write in the blog tomorrow – I won’t have much news of David, I don’t think.  He has some visitors lined up for tomorrow, and Liz (thanks Liz) will be checking in with him, and with him so I can call and say hello and let them know how it went. Then I head back on the train on Saturday morning at 9am.

Wednesday, September 5

This morning, two wonderful things happened – first, and this may seem like a small thing but it isn’t, David turned on on the electric razor.  Again, this may seem simple, but he wasn’t able to tell the difference between a push button and a slide switch, until this morning.  Second, we got notice from the insurance company that David is approved through Sunday.  This means that he will stay put for the weekend, and on Monday, they are going to push for three additional days, but if they don’t approve, we will make the move uptown on Monday or Tuesday.

Today was another big day of therapy with two hours of Physical, one and a half hours of Speech and an hour of Occupational.  Even though he had not slept well last night, he worked through and did everything that the therapists asked him to.
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We had visits from UNIS folks, and Liz stopped by, but we were at therapy and then Michelle stopped by.

Tuesday, September 4

Well, it was another day full of therapy.  Physical, followed by Occupational, followed by Speech, then lunch and a nap and another 1/2 hour of Speech and another hour of Physical Therapy.  By the end of the day, David was pretty exhausted.

During my lunch break and David’s nap, I got a call from the Social Worker who told me that David was declined at Village Care on Houston Street because they don’t have the facilities to support his needs.  After some questioning, it seems that because they are just a rehab facility, they don’t have the care that a stroke sufferer will need in the long term.  Amsterdam house declined for a totally technical reason – they are renegotiating their contract with Oxford and won’t take any Oxford patients until the contract is done.  So, David is accepted medically by both The Jewish Home on W 106th St (which I liked) and Park Terrace in Queens (which I also liked, but is too far for visitors).  After a few calls to the Social Worker and discussions with Doctors and Therapists, they are going to try to get David’s stay at HJD extended to early next week – Oxford wanted him transferred as soon as a bed was available which could have been today!!  YIKES!!  It is looking like they will be able to make a compelling argument that staying an additional 5 days in the acute rehab will be good for David.
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So, as if you aren’t already doing this, I ask that you light a candle, say a prayer, burn some incense or just hope that David will be at HJD over this weekend!  Many of you know this already, and David has been forcing me to tell everyone at the hospital, I am going to Washington, DC on Thursday and on Friday morning at 7am I will go to the State Department for the Oral Assessment which is the final step to becoming a potential Foreign Service Officer.  It is the final step that I have control over, and David made it pretty clear that it was not something that I could change or cancel.  Needless to say, it would be very difficult for me to get through Friday if he were to be in a strange new place with people that I didn’t know and trust.

Monday, September 3 – Labor Day

Today was a Holiday, so there was very little going on at the hospital.  I was bringing the ukelele and wanted to pick up coffee, so I hailed a cab to the Starbucks on First Ave and 17th.  When I got out of the cab, I scraped my knee on an exposed bolt on the back of the seat, and was bleeding profusely.  I tried to stop the bleeding at Starbucks, but I am afraid it continued all the way to HJD.  After I cleaned up my wound a little we started getting visitors.  Jane Lang came by and read another poem she wrote for David.  He always gets a little emotional with the poems.  Then we were joined by Roy and Valerie, who are on their way back to London as I type this.

During a break from visits, we did some leg exercises and then some speech work.  His physical progress is good, but I can’t really tell with the speech.  Sometimes it seems like the words come, and other times, it is just too difficult for him to get the words out.  Then we had a great visit with Gene, Liz, Electa and Quinn.  There was a lot of lively conversation that David enjoyed listening to.  He lovers to hear about what folks are doing.  Soon after, we had lunch and then they wanted him to get out of bed and sit up for two hours.  David said fine, but almost as soon as he was up, he asked when he could go back to bed. He didn’t seem to remember, or didn’t want to remember that he said he would sit up for two hours.  We turned on tennis, and I headed out to the Container Store to pick up some things for the room and I needed a garment bag for my trip at the end of the week.  It took longer than I had anticipated because of all the back to school shoppers – what a line there was!  I was still back in about an hour, and the Occupational Therapist came to work with David.  At that moment Judith Honor and her husband came by and had an abbreviated visit.  I cleaned up a little and rearranged  to make the room less cluttered.

Then, when we were alone, I played the ukelele and we sang “Tiny Bubbles” and “Has Anybody Seen My Gal?”, both went well, but we ended with “Edelweiss”, which I sang mostly, David doesn’t know the words as well, but I figured, since I could play it, why not.  Then it was time for dinner, and after dinner and getting settled for the night, I said goodnight, and made the journey home – carefully avoiding hazardous taxis.

Sunday, September 2

Today was a very quiet day.  We had Physical Therapy with Michelle, and David has more strength in his right leg, which I discovered this evening when we did some more exercises on our own.  He starts off slowly, but once he gets the hang of the rep, he gets more strength.  I think that this comes from the apraxia which makes it difficult for him to know what his body is supposed to do.  It often takes a few demonstrations from the PT for David to get what it is they are asking him to do.  He works very hard though, once he understands and gets the feel for what to do.  We also did some work on speech in the afternoon on our own.  He wasn’t as vocal today as he has been.

We had visits from PD and Michael from Washington, which was fun.  They told us that “One Man, Two Guvnors” was about the funniest thing they have ever seen.  Too bad it is closing today.  Then we had folks from Fieldston stop by – first the Schein’s followed by the Coogan’s.  Both with delicious goodies.  Also, from UNIS, we had visits from Sheila and Jackie, which was very nice.

Tomorrow, because of the holiday, there are no therapies at all, so I will do some work on his right leg and do the arm stretches that Amanda showed me as well as continue with the Speech Therapy exercises on the iPad.

Saturday, September 1

What are the simple joys?  Well, this is one of them.  David at his Physical Therapy session.  Not his usual therapists, but they were playing with him, and I am amazed at the advance he has made with keeping his balance, and you will notice the fun that he is having.  Not to mention the therapists are having fun with David.  They can’t take that away!

We started out the day with a nice visit from Jane Lang, who brought another poem that she wrote inspired by David’s walking.  It is always great to see folks who haven’t seen him in over a week, because the change is so marked.  He is talking a little more every day and moving more and his spirits are still very good.  While I do find being a cheerleader very exhausting, I just imagine what it would be like to be trying to motivate someone who was not as eager and spirited as David.  After Jane, Joy stopped by (sorry about the parking ticket, Joy!) and we went to the gym for the PT where this video was taken.  It was a day of games, because later in the day, Deborah – the recreational therapist – stopped by and we played a game to improve Davids calculating skills (adding, subtracting, division and multiplication) and he did really well.

When I came back from lunch, Roy and Valerie had stopped by, and I just missed them, but Chrissie and her daughter, Caroline were still there, and we looked at the book that Chrissie had created about the yellow hat at the wedding.  Here is one sample of the pictures of the yellow hat from the wedding.

Quinn in the Yellow Hat
Quinn in the Yellow Hat

Friday, August 31

Well, I knew it would happen sooner or later, but last night, I came home after a lovely dinner with Gene, Liz and Chrissie, did laundry, and went to sleep.  No blog entry!  YIKES!  Sorry.

Yesterday was another good day.  He was speaking a little more, getting some more movement and strength in his right leg and is moving the right arm a tiny bit.  The two highlights are that after a lovely lunch of sushi, he has been approved to eat anything and during his OT he practiced getting from the wheelchair into a bathtub.

Some great visits today as well – Roy and Valerie came by and told us all about their day of sightseeing, and then Jackie stopped by, and both Roy and Valerie were amazed to watch the two of them communicate about UNIS stuff.  It is terrific to see that he is as engaged and interested as possible in all the goings on at UNIS, and is giving advise to anyone who can interpret!  After Jackie, Liz and Chrissie McHenry stopped by, and we all had a nice visit.  Soon, David let us know that he was tired, and after a few minutes of getting him arranged for the evening, I left for home.

Thursday, August 30

Today began with a call from the hospital social worker who left me message that Oxford Insurance was going to stop paying for David’s hospital stay on Tuesday of next week.  He said that while they were going to try to extend the stay, we needed to be prepared to move if we had to.  I called him back and told him what our preferences were, and then I ran into him at the hospital later.  He said that the entire team knew about this, and were going to do whatever they could to keep David at HJD for another week.

His therapies went well today, and the pain is less than it has been, which makes it easier.  He still experiences a little, but can work through it more easily.  He had a full schedule today with two hours of PT, 1.5 of ST and 1 of OT – they have fewer patients on the floor, so are able to increase the time they spend with David, which is great, but makes him very tired by the end of the day.  We sang again in speech therapy, which was good, and while he isn’t getting all the words, they seem to come out more easily.  He also is stringing more words together, so little by little it is coming back.  Valerie and Roy met me at the hospital, and had a nice visit with Liat and they talked about South Africa – Liat is from there and Roy and Valerie live there most of the year.  Then the three of us headed off to the 9/11 Memorial, which was quite impressive, I thought.  Afterwards, I went back to the hospital just in time to eat dinner with David.
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Our last visitors were Lynn and Richard Kutner.  Richard was a UNIS, but retired this past June.  We had a great visit, and they also remarked at how much more David is saying, which is so great.  I stayed for a while, and decided to leave when both David and I were drifting off.  I actually began to dream sitting up in the chair.

Wednesday, August 29

OK, well, I am officially exhausted, so this will be a relatively short and early post.  This morning I got up and went out to Queens to visit Park Terrace, and it was not a terrible trek, but it was over an hour, which is a lot.  The facility was fine, and they look like they do good work, but I have to weigh the distance.

After the visit, I went straight to the hospital, and David was just finishing up his first 1/2 hour of Speech Therapy. He had already had one hour each of PT and OT, and had another hour each of ST and PT in another hour.  We did some singing in ST, which was great.  He is able to get more worlds out when singing than speaking, which was great to see, and after some of that work, we went up to the cafeteria to sit outside in the sun on the terrace.  It was lovely, and I am sure David was glad to get a little color!  Immediately after that, we head off to the gym with York to do some more PT.  He does very well with standing, some stepping and balancing.  Improvements all around.  While in the gym, Geralynn and Hannah Lobel stop by to say Hi before heading back to Washington.  We also had a nice long visit with Susie Tanenbaum, UNIS alum.  We then had a bit of time to ourselves and unfortunately, had another “I will remember this” moment, when he was trying to tell me some things, and it took a long time for me to figure out what he was trying to say.

Then we had a whole bunch of people arrive – Roy and Valerie from London/South Africa, Marjorie and ___________ (God, I’m sorry, but I just can’t remember the name) from UNIS and then Hilary, came for another visit.  David is getting more words out, which is great, and seems to be more willing to try, even if he is frustrated when unsuccessful.  He just has to keep trying.  His spirits were much better with all the visitors, and I think that is going to weigh heavily on where he goes for the next phase of his recovery.

Anyway, I said it would be short, but it isn’t.  I won’t go back and check for typos – I am sure you will forgive me any errors, and sorry about the name that I missed, but, well, sorry.  Good-Night!

Tuesday, August 28

Last night David didn’t sleep well because he is experiencing pain on his right side, particularly his arm.  When I arrived he was just finishing up Physical Therapy, but York said that he didn’t do much because of the extreme pain he was experiencing.  Later in the morning, the pain specialist came by to talk to David, and he believes that his brain is sending pain signals to the right side, and makes his skin very sensitive to any touch.  He is prescribing Lyrica, and he had his first dose at 1pm.  He was able to have his Speech Therapy followed by Occupational Therapy, where Amanda worked to get his arm desensitized to the pain.  She put a sleeve on him, and it seemed to make a difference.  At least the frequency of pain seemed to be diminished.

We had visits from Jackie and Susan from UNIS and Geralyn and Hannah Lobel from Burke.  Great to see everyone.  I have to say, he gets lots of encouragement and energy from his visitors.

David also said the first full sentence, which would be a great thing, except for what he said.  When we got back to the room and he was in bed after PT in the morning, he was trying to tell me about someone who had stopped by to see him, and I was not being very successful in figuring out who he was talking about, after many attempts, he looked very angry, and paused and said, “I will remember this.”  My response was appropriate, I think.  I said “Don’t worry, I am not afraid of your remembering.”

After dinner with David, we got a surprise visit from Liz McHenry.  It was great to see her for a short visit, and hear a bit about their summer.  More visits to come and more stories.  We walked out together, and I met Roy and Valerie Zeff, our friends who are visiting from London, and we went out for a lovely dinner.  Tomorrow, I am heading to Queens to look at Park Terrace.

Monday, August 27

This morning I arrived and David was working with his OT, Amanda, and stood at the sink and brushed his teeth, combed his hair (no jokes, please), washed his hands, shaved and washed his face.  I do have to admit that he looks at the comb with a very puzzled look, but never really used one as long as I have known him.  He gets very tired and dizzy when standing for long periods, and for some reason, he doesn’t like to sit up at all, and almost immediately starts asking to be put back in bed.  After he was up for about 2 hours, they conceded and let him get back into bed.

I left, once he was in bed, to check our Village Care Rehab Facility on Houston Street, and was very pleased with what I saw.  One of the nice aspects of Village Care is that it is not a long term facility, so all the patients are there just to get physical or occupational therapy.  The age range is pretty wide, and the facility itself is less than two years old, so it is very light and clean and a pleasant place to be.  And the staff was very welcoming.  For instance, both of the places that I went to last week, I had to ask for help from the folks at the front desk, but here, both folks at the desk, jumped up to ask if they could help me.  The woman behind the desk actually took me on the tour, and I met with the admission officer when we were done.  I am going on Wednesday morning to Park Terrace in Queens and after the visit, I will have a better idea of what to do.

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After waiting the almost three hours to be seen, I headed back to the hospital, where David let me know that he had quite a busy day, and that Liat had given him quite a workout during his speech therapy.  No walking today, but York said he was going to work on the building blocks for walking to build up his strength.  We had visits from UNIS folks who brought a book for us to begin getting through – The History of the World through 100 Objects.  I hear it is an interesting book, and we will begin working our way through it and the history of the world.

Sunday, August 26

This morning I arrived at the hospital, and David and Joy Rizzo were sharing some treats.  We had a very nice visit and were soon joined by Sheila Desmond, who brought some delicious choux.  Afterwards, we had a little lunch and rest, then Patrick Rona stopped by followed by Phyllis Murray and Sydney Allen.  It was an afternoon with lots of UNIS folks, culminating by a wonderful dinner that UNIS parent, Gwen Lipsky, which she served and David devoured.  Dinner included a wonderful polenta with mushrooms and sausage with two types of salad featuring heirloom tomatoes.  The dinner was topped off with Steve’s Ice Cream.

Otherwise, the day was pretty uneventful.  David was more talkative today than he has been.  Not too many new words, but he was using them more than he has up until now.  Again, more progress.  Tomorrow is Monday, and back to the three hours a day!

Saturday, August 25

Today was very quiet.  David had a visitor (a UNIS family) before I got to the hospital – thanks for the pajamas! We had a PT/OT session and his therapist said she wanted him to sit up for 1.5 hours, and getting him to sit for 1.25 hours was like pulling teeth.  Karen Lerner, the Head of the Music Department from UNIS stopped by with gifts in hand, and I am guessing that David must have told her about his obsession with the 2000 Year Old Man, because she brought the CD of this classic Mel Brooks/Carl Reiner series of albums, if not – great choice Karen.  Since I have know David, he has quoted stories from this album, and I can’t wait to sit and listen with him.

After lunch, I took a short break and he took a nap, and when I got back we had two friends from UNIS – Hilary and Marjorie.  Marjorie is a regular visitor, and I haven’t seen Hilary since visiting Rosalind years ago.  Both were very nice visits, Hilary brought some beautiful sunflowers and peaches, that David had for dessert with the Chicken Provençal that I made for his dinner.  Marjorie brought a nice piece of halva, which we look forward to trying tomorrow.  I also got an order of cookies from Vermont Moonlight Cookies (the place that provided dessert for our wedding) yesterday, and David had some of the ginger chews and the nurses were thrilled to have a variety of other cookies!

Weekends are proving to be difficult because it falls to me to fill in the work that isn’t being done by his regular therapists.  He only gets 1/2 hour per day as opposed to the 3 hours per day he gets from Monday through Friday.  We did some reading work and some work with his leg – stretching and strength work.  I am afraid I am not as inspiring or more importantly, as intimidating as York, Amanda, Liat or Steph, so I don’t get an hour out of David.  In the old days, he could talk me into going out to get ice cream at ungodly hours when I knew it was not good for him or me, and now he can get me to let him rest and relax, rather than work, even though he needs to.  He is very charming, even without his speech.