Dentist, visit and speaking

This morning I got up and ready to go to the Dentist.  Our first Aide from the new company arrived at 10am.  Her name is Temitayo, and she seemed very nice and after a quick overview of what was needed, I ran out the door.  The appointment didn’t start on time, and went longer than scheduled, so I was getting anxious about how things were going at home, but it was all for naught.  When I got home, the apartment was clean, and David was happy and loved her.  He told me I should ask about her children, and where she lived.  So, it was off to a good start.  I ran out to get some hand rolls for lunch, and as I arrived at the Korean Food Court, I realized that we were expecting another visitor at the exact time I ordered the food and had forgotten my phone at home.  Hatam and Kamran were sitting talking to David when I got back, and the conversation was great.  He is getting better and better at getting his ideas across, and even came out, without prompting with the name of our Grandson – Theo, and David was thrilled when it came out of his mouth.

At 3pm the Lawyer stopped by and executed out wills and living wills, which was short and sweet, which was great.  Once that was done, we watched Downton Abbey, and I won’t give any details away, but both David and I needed kleenex at the end.

The, Siobhan came and had an hour of conversation.  Probably the best part was when she made David tell the story about the Occupational Therapy session where I broke the bed.  He laughed and enjoyed telling it.  I think I will work on getting him to start telling some of his stories again.  He even was able to say Siobhan’s name, which she admits is no easy feat!

Siobhan passed Andrew Brust on her way out, and we had a great conversation with him as well. I am finding that he comes up with words more when in casual conversation, even if it seems halting to the listener, and as I said, it is even better if there is more than one person there participating and prompting.

Isaac found the body of his wife in tonight’s reading, and his relationship with his brother is becoming strained.  Then, object #41 was a seated Buddha from Pakistan.  Now to sleep and an early speech therapy session.

Lazy Sunday and Visits

We had a lovely day starting with Brunch with Susan and Lauri at, where else, Artisinal. Very nice time was had by all!  We talked about UNIS and life in general.

Then, Eric and Ruthie from DC came to visit with Daughter Sophie and her girlfriend Emily.  We walked down Fifth Ave with in the intetion of going to LuLu and Me, but they were closed, so went to Ililli in stead.  Had the large sampler for all of us to share, which was terrific.  Also had a great visit, and nice to catch up.

Then, a nap for David followed by dinner and The Good Wife.  Taped Downton Abbey, so we will watch tomorrow!  Will make it short tonight.

Quiet day after a very busy week

Today we relaxed a little.  It was quite a week with appointments and no help, but that is changing next week.  I have someone in to help each day next week, and on Saturday, I am running away for the night.  I have the Foreign Service Test next Friday, and David encouraged me to take Saturday and get away.  The new Health Care Aide service is going to have someone stay overnight with David, although, he really sleeps through, but it will make me feel better.  Anyone who is reading this, and who wants to come by on Saturday during the day or Sunday morning, please let me know, and it would be great if you could schedule a time to come and visit David while I am not here.  First come, first served!

I thought about going to DC or Philly or Boston, but have elected to just check into a hotel nearby, and read and sleep.  Actually, after some research on Philly, I think that for David’s birthday later in February, we are going to take an overnight trip to Philadelphia to see the Barnes Collection.  It was one of the options, and I would rather share that with David than go alone!

This morning Gail came and worked with David on the Neuro-feedback, and we had a nice chat afterwards about theatre and the prohibitive cost.  Then we had our Facetime chat with Alex, Claire and Theo, which is always great.  Theo is growing, and David is very anxious to get back out for a visit, but not sure if we will make it before we head to Napa in July – we will see if we can swing something.

After the call, I went to Uniqlo to get some thermal underwear for David.  He has been very cold, and Michal suggested we get some of their Heattech products.  David is very excited to try it out tomorrow when we head out in the morning.  I have to say, I felt very old going into the store, but picked up some great stuff, and good prices.  Picked up some chicken from Bon Chon on the corner, and we had a healthy lunch.

Continued to watch some more Law & Order: UK, which we are both liking, and looking forward to seeing Ripper Street.  It took a while before I figured out that the star of the show was Mr. Darcey from Pride and Prejudice.

Then, more of the adventures of Isaac and his storm – the family, save three daughters, are all gone, it seems – and object #39, the Admonitions Scroll.

 

Another full day!

I woke up early to get ready for the day, and after showering and dressing, got David up, showered and dressed and we were out the door at 8:35am.  We got to ACC/RUSK by about 8:45am and registered for the Occupational Therapy session that was to start at 10am, but has Speech Therapy first.  We met with Karen’s intern today, who was being supervised by the other Speech Therapist, Edna.  It went very well, and David was doing well, and speaking, mostly prompted, but more and more he is reading what is written or speaking unprompted.  In any case, he is getting his ideas across more without my help.

Once we were done with Speech, we headed over to the Occupational Therapy evaluation.  Maneshka is his therapist, and she said she had read his file, and was very interested to meet David because she knew UNIS.  Her mother works at the UN.  We had a good introduction, and she did some testing of his abilities and talked about what we wanted to get out of OT.  She also showed me some work to do with David to build on what we have already been doing, and I think she got his arm to move a little.  A very good sign, I think.  He is shrugging his right shoulder more as well.  While I was working on David’s shoulder, we were on a platform bed that all of the gyms have.  It is a large padded platform on a hydraulic lift, and David was laying down, and I was moving his shoulder.  When we were done, I moved to get off the platform, and there was a loud and quite scary crack that sounded like my girth had broken the hydraulics of the bed.  David, after a look of fright, began laughing at the idea that I had broken the bed by moving to the side.  Meneshka said that it wasn’t me, and it happens all the time, but David would have none of it.  He just kept pointing at me and laughing.  He also is holding a gun to my head right now and making sure that I write this for the world to know!

As we were finishing up, David asked about Maneshka’s Mom and where she worked at the UN.  She said that she worked in the Comptroller’s office and she wished that she had gone to UNIS, but alas, she went to a public school in New Jersey.  I, of course chimed in, I wish I had gone to UNIS as well, but also had to go to a public school in New Jersey.  We commiserated a bit, and she asked David where he was from, and David said New York.  Said, that he wasn’t from NY really, he was from Queens, and David insisted it was the same thing.  She understood.
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After the OT, we went down the street to get the X-ray done, but when we arrived at the place someone told us we could go, we found out that they only did CT Scans, so it was another seven blocks to NYU Medical Center to get the X-ray done.  We had some time to kill until PT, so we figured we would get it over with.

Between the X-ray and PT we had pizza on Second Ave.  David was almost falling asleep on the stationary bike, and couldn’t wait to get out and on our way home.  He napped for a while, and then Siobhan came and did speech.  She told David all about her trip to South Africa, and we had some pasta, watched Law & Order: UK (same episodes, different accent) and our usual, boring routine – Blog, Audiobook and Object.  Tonight, when I got to the part in last night’s blog about the snoring, he just said “lies”, which I knew would happen, and Isaac’s house has disintegrated in the storm (my guess is his family is lost, but who knows) and the object is a Ceremonial Ballgame Belt from Mexico.

Dentist and new jobs and it is still COLD

A cold day in NYC
A cold day in NYC

This morning we met with a woman from a new home healthcare agency, who thinks that they will be able to provide short shift help in the mornings.  All other agencies have a four hour minimum, and I really don’t need four hours, more like two in the morning.  They charge a little more per hour, but we will try them out and see how it works.

After they left, we got ready to go to the NYU Dental Clinic.  David got a cleaning this time, and scheduled for more in depth cleaning for next week.  They will need to have an updated INR count because of the Coumadin to start the deeper cleaning.  The Dentist also advised that one of David’s teeth is cracked and should be crowned, but he is not interested, and wants to “chance it” as they say.  He has actually been avoiding this since seeing his Dentist in Washington, so, I guess we can wait.  I would just have it done, but, he was adamant.  They will have to do the deep cleaning in four sessions, which David was also not pleased about, but she explained that because of some bone loss and the blood thinners, the cleaning would be more involved than a standard cleaning.  She also gave me a new job – brushing David’s teeth.  He wasn’t pleased about that either, and was even less pleased when I did it tonight!

Then, it was off get blood drawn and then to our appointment with Dr. Im, the Physiatrist.  It was a good visit, and his associate, who gave David his initial exam, was very nice.  She thought he was doing well, and Dr. Im was very impressed with the movement in his shoulder.  Finally David was impressed with himself, once the Doctor said he had made an improvement – he doesn’t believe me.  He would like David to go for an X-ray of his right side, because the pain that he has been complaining about since December is still there, and he wants to make sure that he didn’t do something to his rib.

While on our way uptown, I got a message from the SUNY Ophthalmology Clinic, and when we got home, I got on the phone to schedule the appointment.  The first appointment that they had for a new patient was February 27.  At first I was shocked, but then realized, it is only a little more than a month away.  She also has him on a waiting list for any cancellations, and she said there was actually one earlier today, so, there might be a good chance he will get in sooner.  Now the last medical appointment I have to try to arrange is for a sleep study – he has been better since lowering the Lyrica dosage, but still has some snoring problems (he will deny it, but it is true).

This afternoon, we had visits from Jane and Henry Berliss and were also joined by Candi Kaplan.  It was a very nice visit all around, and it is often good to have a group, because then the pressure of conversation isn’t so hard on David.

David was pretty tired, and took a short nap after the visits, then dinner and nice conversation, Glee, I read last night’s blog, Isaac’s Storm (which is getting very scary and exciting) and object #37 (I think) which was a Native American pipe.  Sleep.  It is still, very cold, and today, I let David wear my shearling coat, because the cold is really getting to him.  When we got to the Doctor, and were waiting, I remembered the history of the coat, which Wayne bought in Vermont in 1995/6, I think, and then, when we were in Washington, I gave it to my Mother to wear, and when she died, it came back to me, and now, it is still keeping both of us warm in the frigid weather.  Nothing like a warm old coat, loaded with memories to keep you warm.

There was something that I am sure David wanted me to write tonight, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.  He was able to say somethings today, unprompted, but that is getting more and more normal, so I don’t think that was it.  We also were with the Dental Student for a full twenty minutes before he asked something that David couldn’t respond to, and I had to tell him that he had trouble talking.  He was shocked that he hadn’t even noticed, but I am pretty sure that wasn’t it either.  I will remember in the middle of the night, and if I do, I will amend the posting. I will, however, end now, because, reading back, this is a pretty disjointed posting, that, thankfully was not ranting, but certainly is rambling.

Good-night!

Nice work, if you can get it

Still very cold.  BaBa came this morning and got David up, showered and dressed, while I headed out for the workshop with the Complete Theatre Company.  It was good, and I am hoping to actually do something next week.  Maybe read what I have been writing.  They seem pretty open to hearing new stuff, so, I will take the plunge next week.

When I got home, BaBa was gone, and Gail had come and will be coming back on Saturday to work with David.  I did get a message that David’s afternoon Speech Therapy was cancelled – Siobhan just got back from South Africa, and had lots of work to catch up with, and will be coming on Friday.  We headed down to the pool next, and did some walking in the pool.  David’s stride is much more even when in the pool, which is to be expected, but I think it is good practice.  The instructor was twenty minutes late, and worked with him for the hour.  It as pretty cold by the pool because of all the glass, the gaps in the doors to the patio.  Most of the time we were there, the lifeguard was trying to figure a way to keep the draft out, will little success.  After we left, David said he thought we would skip the pool if it is that cold again, and I agreed!  The water was really OK, but the air was pretty chilly.

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Anyway, got home, had dessert with David, and our usual ritual – Blog reading, Audiobook and another object from the British Museum.

#UnitedAirlines still not a good response, and other updates for the day

Just wanted to update you on the United Airlines saga, but if you want to skip my ranting, and read something more interesting, scroll down half a page – to the picture.  After our not so good trip back from SFO to JFK, I contacted United on the day after we got home.  I didn’t hear anything until the day after I tweeted about the problem, and was asked (again) to explain what happened, because the agent couldn’t get to the link.  Funny, no?  They responded to the complaint that I tweeted, but not the one I sent through their website, and then couldn’t find what flight I was on or a link to the story (which were all attached to the email the Customer Service Rep sent to me).

Anyway, I got the response today, and here are some highlights (no grammar corrections):

You state that wheelchair assistance was not provided for Mr. Shapiro in a timely matter . . . United successfully fulfills thousands of wheelchair requests . . . Providing efficient, helpful service is important to us. I assure you . . . Allow me to explain that during heavy travel periods we receive a high volume of wheelchair service requests. I apologize for the wait time you encountered . . . I am very sorry to hear that our flight attendants on the flight from San Francisco to JFK didn’t offer you the service that you deserve . . . Please accept my sincere apology . . .Your feedback will help us in our efforts to ensure that our service programs are best meeting our customers’ needs and expectations.

Needless to say, I gave her my feedback. Not sure why this is getting under my skin, but if I had a therapist, my guess is, she would say it is because I have no control in my life, but who knows.  In any case it still gets to me.

David and I on one of our adventures
David and I are on one of our many adventures

This morning we had Speech Therapy with Karen at RUSK, which was short, but good, and we got some more aps for the IPad.  She also told David that he needs to work every day on the ap that I thought he needed to, but doesn’t like.  It is very boring for him, because it is repetitive, and well, boring.  We discussed the schedule, because David doesn’t like doing Speech so early, and thinks that he doesn’t do as well early in the morning.  Karen is going to see about finding a later spot on Tuesdays, and offered to let him see the other therapist, but, once again, confessed that she would be heartbroken if he didn’t see her.  She said that his being left-handed on top of being very smart makes him a very interesting case, and she believes that his speech will come back in a very unusual way.  I guess it is nice to feel special, but I can think of about a thousand better ways to be special!  It was a frigid morning, and after walking to and from the Speech Therapy this morning, we decided to take a car in the afternoon.  We did have a little snow, which was nice.

I ran out for my Doctor’s appointment at 11:30, and not much to report there, except my BP was back up to its normal level.  The plan is to ease me off the Prednisone, and onto Allopurinol for my gout.  When I got home, Estella was cleaning the apartment, and I am sure she was glad when we left again for Physical Therapy!  We took a car over this time, and as we were approaching Third Ave, there was a young woman walking up 38th Street who was wearing an outfit that was not to be believed.  This was one of those moments when David made me laugh out loud by saying one word.  He just turned to me and said “please”.  It was Chita Rivera all over again.  I burst out laughing and I am sure the driver thought I had lost my mind.  She was wearing a very short skirt and wool stockings that went 3/4 of the way up her thighs – and I am certain she was on her way to the office where she worked.  It wouldn’t have been so funny if it weren’t 25 degrees with a windchill that made if feel like 0.

We had Gym and then PT today, and David worked on the stationary bike and then a weight machine.  Not much success with the weight machine and his leg, but as the PT said, slowly.  For the session, David did his usual walking and reaching and balancing.  All good.  I am finding my mind wandering during the sessions (I really don’t have much to do, well, really anything to do) and wondering what the stories are for all the other folks who are working.  Most are alone when they arrive or are in the gym, and some make my heart break while others I just look at and wonder why?  Mostly, why are they here?  They seem to be able to do everything – walk, talk, pick up stuff.  A lot of the folks are the same each time we come, and I do hear bits and pieces of conversation.  For instance, one of the “whys” is a Lawyer.  He uses a walker, but I am not sure why, and was chatting with a woman who was waiting for her Husband who, I think is recovering from a stroke.  Then, there is this young guy – maybe 30 or so – who also looks like he had a stroke. Same side as David, and same difficulty with walking and no use of his arm, but he has his speech, and I find myself wondering why?  Why doesn’t David have his speech back, and am reminded – a stroke is like a snowflake, no two are the same. Blah, blah, blah.

I was in quite a mood today, and David sensed it.  Sometimes we feed off each other in that way, because he seemed a little distressed today, which made me sad, because I knew there was really nothing I could do about it, and he felt bad because I wasn’t my usual self, and so on.  I read the blog to him from last night, which made both of us feel better, then more of the Audiobook – “Isaac’s Storm” which is getting exciting now with the storm almost in full force.  It is about the 1900 Hurricane that devastated Galveston, TX.  Then #34 – the head of Augustus, and to bed.  I will be going soon.

So happy to be an American today

The Obama walk up Penn. Ave
The Obamas walk up Penn. Ave

Well, you all know how I feel about politics, and after spending more of my adult life under varying degrees of Republican craziness, now, I feel as though we have woken from a nightmare, and may actually move forward at a faster pace.  I was elated at the First Obama Inaugural, but this makes it feel more like a trend.

I loved the line referring to Seneca Falls, Selma and Stonewall, but this is the call to action for me – “Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law, for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal, as well.”

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Did some cleaning up, then audiobook and #34 – a Han Lacquer Cup.  Now to bed.

 

Brunch, Dickens, Rosetta Stone and The Rosetta Stone

It was another good day today.  We met Jackie for Brunch at one of our favorite places – Artisanal.  Down the street, pleasant space and the food is excellent.  We went there for the first time the day we moved into the apartment with Gene and Liz and family.  Since then, it is the “go to” restaurant for us.

Miss Havisham
Helena Bonham Carter as Miss Havisham

Then, at 2pm, we met Sheila between the Lions at the NY Public Library to take a look at an exhibit called Charles Dickens: The Key to Character.  It was a small exhibit, but really nice to see.  As we walked in, Sheila had given me some homework about which character I remembered most from Dickens and why.  Hands down – Miss Havisham.  Mostly because my English teacher, Miss Wighardt reminded me of her (she was probably in her early 30’s and unmarried, and I thought that was ancient, but I was younger then), and there was something about the wedding cake and rats eating away at it that captured my imagination when I read Great Expectations.  I am actually not sure if the rats were my own fancy, or were actually in the book, but either way, that was what I pictured – it was the time of Ben and Willard after all.

Afterwards, we went to Bryant Park and sat for a few minutes, and then it started getting a little chilly, so we headed back down Fifth Avenue and home.  Had some coffee, and then an afternoon nap for David, and I began cooking.  Made a lovely dinner of Chicken Marsala, Mushroom Risotto and Gorgonzola stuffed Tomatoes.  After dinner, I returned to Rosetta Stone to work on my Mandarin.  It has been quite a while, so I went back to the beginning, rather than try to pick up where I left off.  Never hurts to reinforce what you have already studied, right? Followed by Downton Abbey, more of the Audiobook and as luck would have it, object number 33 in our march through history – THE Rosetta Stone.

Finally, David again told me at dinner that he should play a more central role in my blog.   I am not sure how much more central he could be.  I think he would like me to talk more about what other folks we interact with say about how great he is doing.  For instance, the swim instructor who is working with David in the pool is very impressed with his progress in just the two sessions, which is true.  He also was very good at getting his ideas across with Jackie at brunch and walked to the table and just generally has a great disposition in spite of everything.

David is still a funny guy!

This morning we were at the pool by 11am, and David worked for about an hour.  Walking, kicking, sidestepping.  It was also easier to get down and back upstairs today, because we were prepared with what we learned the last time we went to the pool.

Afterwards, we went upstairs, had our weekly conversation with Alex, Claire and Theo, lunch and finally, I headed to Bed, Bath and Beyond.  It always amazes me how crowded that store is.  Got what I needed and got out of there.

David took a well deserved afternoon nap, and I started dinner.  We sat at the table for dinner, and had a good conversation.  David asked that I  make it clearer how funny he still is.  For instance, yesterday when we were with the dentists, it took all the energy I had not to laugh when he started making fun of the dentist going over the results of the first.  I have said this before, but even without his silver tongue he can still say a lot, and it is usually pretty choice.

Then, I read yesterday’s blog, we listened to the audiobook and I read about the latest object –  a piece of Ashoka’s Pillar from India, and off to bed.  Now the same for me.

Dentists and PT’s and Lawyers, Oh My!

Oh, what a busy day we had today!  Got out of the house at 9am and we didn’t return until a little after 4pm – and boy was it cold!  First, we went to LabCorp to get blood drawn.  Not just the INR, but other blood tests as well – just checking cholesterol, etc.  It is Actually good to be doing more routine tests, and a great sign of normalcy.  Then we went to NYU School of Dentistry, where David had a complete (with a capital C) exam.  I am supposed to go next week, but may have to change the appointment because of a conflict.  There were two students who did the initial exam – x-rays, etc, and then two of the teaching Dentists came in to look at what they found. They were fascinated by a scratch on David’s tongue – I had nothing to do with it, I swear!  he was in the chair for about two hours, which they warned us would happen, but I have to say, it was a thorough exam, and they will be very helpful with David’s oral hygiene going forward with suggestions in regards to flossing and brushing and any rinses he should use to compensate for not being able to use both hands.  We made a follow-up appointment next Thursday, and they have accepted him in the “special care” unit, which took a few additional signatures.  I am really glad we got that out of the way, although David was getting very impatient sitting in the chair.

By the time we finished at about 1:30, we called a car to go up to our 2pm Physical Therapy appointment at RUSK.  While waiting for the car I got a call from the Occupational Therapy department, and we are set for the intake evaluation next Friday.  So now, everything is in place.  We have OT on Mondays and Fridays, Speech on Tuesday and Friday (the Speech Therapist at RUSK has suggested we continue with Siobhan, because she thinks he could use three sessions a week, and they will coordinate) and PT and Gym on Tuesday and Friday.

So we had PT with a substitute, who was good.  Did standing and sitting and weight distribution and walking around the room.  I am always impressed with David’s stamina – the therapists always expect him to want to rest, but he just wants to keep on going.  Then he did the stationary bike again during the gym half hour.  He did want to stop after 12 minutes, but I assured him that the last time he did somewhere between 15 and 20 minutes, so he kept going for the additional 3 minutes.

After RUSK, we went to a lawyer to have new wills done.  I know we had something done when we moved to Washington, but that was a long time ago, and I actually have no idea who it was that did them.  The lawyer has been kind enough to offer to come to the apartment to sign them, when they are ready.

I felt a great sense of accomplishment when we got home, David went to bed for a nap and I ran to Home Depot to get a bulb for the light under the counter and something to fix the toilet paper holder in the bathroom.  Oh, the simple joys.

Now a little relax and off to bed.  Swimming in the morning!

 

Home all day, Flu vaccine and Support Group, and, oh yes, and #Unitedairlines still sucks

We got up this morning with the intention of going first thing for a blood test, but before I got David in the shower, we had breakfast, and I had forgotten that he had to fast for this blood test, so we will do that tomorrow morning.

After a relatively slow and quiet start for the day, I ran out and finally got my flu vaccine at CVS.  Sadly, the folks at the pharmacy know me pretty well, but always have to ask – “are you Shapiro or Kenison?”  Then, picked up some hand rolls from the Korean Food Court for lunch.  I heard from the agency that sends the aides that Jennifer was not going to make it this afternoon, and asked if BaBa could come in the evening to be with David when I went to a support group at RUSK Institute. We had quite a discussion about why BaBa was coming and how yesterday, David told me he thought that it would be a problem for me to leave him for two hours for this meeting.  Today, he thought I was being ridiculous to worry, and that I should cancel BaBa.  I didn’t cancel BaBa.

So, at 5pm I headed out to RUSK and arrived a little before the start of the group and BaBa got to David about the same time I arrived at RUSK.  When I got to the 16th floor, there were two folks sitting in the conference room and I joined them.  There was a 70ish year old woman and a 50ish year old man sitting in the room, and she was dominating the

Meryl, eat your heard out
The French Lieutenant’s Man

conversation with what I would call lovingly, “liberal, commie, NY rhetoric” about how young people now a-days have no idea how this country is being manipulated and ruined by the extreme right.  I kept relatively quiet, because I believe all her critiques of the the right wing, but think that she doesn’t give young people the credit they are due. I really think that the youth turn out is the tip of the iceberg, and will only grow and grow and lean more and more to the left, and all will be right with the world!

Anyway, more folks came in, and I wish I could give you one of the names of people who were there, but might want to protect the innocent.  There were five women, three men and Dr. Kristine Kingsley, who was our fearless leader.  After a short introduction, we began going around the table introducing ourselves or filling folks in on what currently was going on.  First to go was the red diaper baby (if you are too young for that term, I have added a link to) who has been dealing with her husbands mugging from a number of years ago, and still has her issues – going to the gym five hours a day was one of her complaints.  Then came a story more close to home – a 60ish year old woman whose husband had a stroke while in Maine, and talked about the great support system she found, and is still connected to near Portland, but things seem to be going along well for her and her husband, but the same acting out by her husband now that they are back in NY.  Then, and young Doctor whose husband had a head on collision and is dealing with recovery.  Also, he is further along in the recovery, but has physical problems and will be having shoulder replacement surgery done nest week.  As we came closer to my turn, there was a German woman whose boyfriend just started back to work this week after a little over a year.  He works for NY Transit and the great thing to hear is the support he got from his co-workers donating vacation, sick and overtime hours to make sure that he continued to get his full salary since he was out of work. I for one and cheering for his successful return to work.
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Then, all eyes turned to me.  Well I started with “My story is much to sad to be told. But practically leaves me totally cold.”  I gave a brief overview of the story, and the first question was – “are you alone in the apartment with him?”  “Do you work?”  I assured them that I was working on that, and they thought that now that we are coming on six months, I should make ways to get out on my own.  Of all the folks around the table, I think I spent the most time talking.  I had a lot to say and nobody tried to tackle me and tape my mouth shut.  After me, one of the other guys spoke about his friend, who tragically had a motorcycle accident upstate while showing off trying to pass his car, and who has had his new partner leave him during his recovery, and Walter feels responsible for him, because they were former lovers, and this is causing some friction in is current relationship, etc.  The next story was similar – car accident – man and woman who were in a a Boston/NYC long distance relationship, but they thought it would be a good idea for him to move in with her, when he could.  I think she also said that they were only together for a little over a year.  I would say huge mistake, but, love is a strange and tortured thing, right?  Finally an older guy 70’s maybe even 80’s whose wife had dementia which they think is early stages of Alzheimer’s.  He confessed that he thought he was not a good caretaker – not patient and really not empathetic, so worried about the future.

Mostly what I took away from all these folks was the impression that none of the folks around the table or the loved ones who were at home were really very essentially different than they were before the trauma that caused the change in their states, but often they are even more who they are.  For example, a few talked about how their loved ones resented being taken care of and wanted their independence back more than anything else.  I told them that I am lucky in that area, because David was the baby, and he actually doesn’t mind my having to do everything for him.  He actually might have liked it it this started fifteen years ago!  That is not to say that he doesn’t enjoy doing his own loving things for me.

In the end, it was very, very helpful to attend this meeting and we have another in February that both David and I will attend, which is more for the survivor than the caretaker.  Just being able to voice the concerns and feelings I was having and getting some advise from folks who have been through it all.

Now, tomorrow, I am gearing up for a full day – blood, dentist, physical therapy, gym.  The speech therapist asked to have the vocational therapy cancelled because she thought it was too early, which I agreed with.

Oh, and by the way – nothing from United yet, but I guess they just don’t really care about an unhappy disabled customer!  This came up at the group as well, and they were scandalized that I hadn’t heard anything.

Speech, Theatre, Swimming and Sleep

Today was one of those days.  I got up early, showered and got myself ready so we could get out the door by 10AM to get to Speech Therapy by 10:30AM.  It seemed like it was just not to be.  BaBa was taking his time getting David showered, and by the time we were heading out the door it was 10:15AM, and when we got in the car, there was terrible traffic across town.  Fortunately, we made up time with checking in downstairs, and were only about 5-10 minutes late for the appointment.  I sat in the beginning of the assessment, and ran about five minutes before I was supposed to be at the theatre for my first “workshop”.  Now I know why David kept questioning how this morning was going to work!

It went pretty well.  A mix of people, with varied degrees of talent and professionalism, but I think for my needs, it will be good.  Basic structure is a warm-up followed by a lecture, each done by a different member of the company each week.  Each week you can sign up to do a monologue, read something you are writing, have other actors read work you are writing, or just talk about something that you are working on and bounce ideas around.  For me, just getting out every Wednesday will be a great boon.

I was only slightly distracted by having left David with BaBa to get him home.  I was a bit take aback when I gave BaBa money for a cab, and he asked how he should go about finding one.  I told him that the folks at the front of the building should be able to help, if there wasn’t one at the door – every time we have left, there were cabs pulling up and letting folks off in front of the building.  I was relieved when I got a message from BaBa that they had made it home.

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When we got upstairs, it was time for a nap – for both of us.  We slept for a couple hours, and when I woke up, I was a bit dazed.  It was one of those moments when you forget what is going on, and it took me a few seconds to get my head around having to get David up out of bed and to the bathroom.

Then, dinner, Modern Family, listening and reading.  Tonight we read about a mask from the Olmecs of Central America.

Lunch, PT, the Gym, dinner at Méli and Swimming

Today I got up early so when BaBa arrived, he could get David up and ready for our lunch date with Marjorie.  We headed up her apartment at 11:30, and had a great visit and lunch.  David was more captivated than I thought he would be by her cat, and we had a terrific visit.  We left at about 1pm to head to the Ambulatory Care Center at NYU (ACC – I have been calling it RUSK, but that isn’t what it is called)  We had a good half hour with Caroline, and she worked on David putting more weight on his right leg.  He is still very hesitant, but is working hard.  After our half hour, we went to the Gym class with Paul.  Basically, Paul works with four patients, and sets each up on a machine to work on, and moves between them to check in, and move as needed.  I think this will be very beneficial for David.  He was on a sort of stationary bike, and he pedaled for a little over 1/4 hour.

Next to where he was pedaling, there was a woman who was working with a PT, and it is good to see that even without speaking, David can get his displeasure across.  She was arguing with the PT about what she was feeling and whether it was a nerve problem or muscle strain. The PT was very nicely trying to explain that while she may have thought that her nerve was being pulled or twisted, that it was simply not possible, and she was mistaken, it was the muscle.  She snapped at him and said, don’t tell me what it is, I have an MPH.  He was calmer and cooler than I would have been.  I think my response would have been, “I guess you don’t need me then, right?”  David rolled his eyes and burst out laughing.  She shot a disapproving look in our direction and continued lecturing her PT, and he just got quiet.

Tomato on Santorini
Tomato on Santorini

We got home and David took a nap, and then at 6pm, Susan came and we went out to dinner at Méli, a beautiful Greek restaurant east of Fifth on 35th.  We had not been, but I have seen it on our strolls down Fifth and now glad that we tried it.  Very nice, big, bright modern room, and the food was great.  I had a tomato/feta salad that reminded me so much of a lunch we had on Santorini!  David had a beet salad that looked delicious and lamb shank that I tasted, and was delicious.  Anyway, it was a great meal, and David was very pleased when we got home because he was able to communicate very well with Susan.  Thanks to both Susan and Marjorie for getting us out of the house twice today!

Tonight, I got an email from the swim instructor from the building, and tomorrow afternoon and Saturday morning, we are going into the pool!  I am excited almost more than David is, but he is pretty excited!  More and more, better and better!

Social worker and Speech

This afternoon, we had a meeting with Rene Gross, the Social Worker at NYU Langone/RUSK.  We talked about a lot of issues, and she was full of helpful hints.  One of my goals in the next month and a half is to find a day or two that I can run away.  I have also decided to join this theatre company that I auditioned for and was asked to join in December.  There is a fee, but it is small, and I think the the benefits of getting out of the house for two hours every Wednesday will be great for me.  Part of what they do is provide an opportunity to read work that actors are writing, and I think that I will begin in earnest creating something about what this process has been for me and David for the past five months, and into the future.

After the meeting with the Social Worker, we had an appointment with Dr. Blum and she said that David’s MRI/MRA were looking good – no changes from the ones that were done in August, which is great.  We will also continue lowering the dose of the Lyrica, because she believes that this may be contributing to some of David’s intermittent confusion.  Speaking of confusion, we watched a few episodes of Girls this evening.  I watched both season one and two while David was at the Jewish Home, but David was a little confused, mostly because he didn’t find it funny at all.  I think it’s funny in a bizarre sort of way.  What can I say, David doesn’t like Curb Your Enthusiasm, which I like too.  We switched to Being Human, which he likes a lot, as do I.
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Lots of other stuff taken care of today – Dentist Appointment, Speech Therapy Assessment appointment, Insurance updated, a good dinner, another try at Audiobooks, another Object on our journey through the history of the world and off to bed a little bit ago, but not before calling me in three times to clarify things on the calendar.  Mostly about how Speech Therapy was going to work on Wednesday with me dropping him off with BaBa at NYU.

Golden Globes and Rubin Museum

This morning we had a surprise trip with Sheila Desmond to the Rubin Museum of Art on 17th Street where we strolled through the beautiful museum looking at art from the Himalayas.  It was really a great escape from the day and a foggy, dreary day!  Thanks Sheila.

When we got home, David was up for a nap, and slept for a couple of hours.  I cooked some tomato sauce for dinner, and when David began stirring, we started preparing for the Golden Globes.  Watched most of the pre show, and then the show.  The highlight were Tina and Amy, I love both of them, and President Clinton.  I also loved Jody Foster, even if her coming out, was not quite coming out, but as she said, everyone knows anyway, so. . . anyway, she looked great, and I kinda love her for it.

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Overall, the awards were good.  Right winners, and surprised, but happy about ARGO.  A must see if you haven’t already.

Another mysterious guest, visit to Westchester and now – Miss America!

Yesterday we had a visit from a mystery guest.  You will just have to try to guess who it was. Nice visit and we talked a lot about the upcoming first leg of the Foreign Service Officer Quest – the written test.  I go on February 8th, and as luck would have it, the test center is three blocks away, so it will be nice to show up in my pajamas and slippers!  I have started studying a little, although it really is hard to study for because the test is pretty broad.  Will keep you posted on the progress as it happens.

We had a great FaceTime chat with Alex, Claire and Theo today, and then went out to get a Zipcar to drive up to Mt Vernon to visit Joy, who is still recovering from being very sick.  It was sooooo great to see her, and it had been too long.  We had a nice, long, quiet visit, and I hope we didn’t tire her out, but I think we left just at the right time.

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The drive up and home were easy, and as soon as we got home, ordered sushi, and sitting waiting for Miss America to start.  Thank goodness Joy knew about it, otherwise we might have missed it.  Here’s rooting for Miss California or Miss Vermont.  We would take Miss DC or New York as well.

The end of the week and Mystery Guest

Yesterday I crashed before writing, so here it is, a little after 8am.  Not much up yesterday, Baba came to help out, and got David ready for his appointment with the Podiatrist – his toenail is still not behaving.  We arrived at our scheduled time, 11:15am, without much trouble and then waited until after noon to see the Doctor.  He was done pretty quickly, which was good, and we got back to the apartment in plenty of time to avoid Baba running over his time – he was scheduled to leave at 1pm.  Well, that was all very boring now, wasn’t it?

In the afternoon, David wanted to lay down for a while, so I ran to CVS and to check out swimming in the pool downstairs.  The manager is going to have one of the life guards/swim instructors give me a call.  It would be nice to have some set schedule of swimming dates.  Then we caught up with Project Runway Allstars.  They make it so dramatic, but sorry Josh, you should have gone a while ago.  The Army dress really saved you, but the couture dress was, well, a mess.

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The night before last, I got a posting here on the blog from a friend who I have not heard from in over 30 years, and I just want to say, if there are any other stalkers out there who are afraid to speak up, please do.  It was such a pleasure to hear from the mystery guest.  You forget how much you missed seeing folks who you were really close to at important moments in your life.  So heres to mystery guests stepping out from the shadows!

Less agitated, still irritable

I have added new features to the blog – Facebook, twitter and tumbler links – so the date in the title don’t work so well.  You know, all these postings are dated anyway, so, no more date.

Yesterday was a better day, with better communication.  David was great, and I got most of my calls returned – not all, but most.  We have Vocational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Social Work and the beginning of the Sleep Study done.  The outstanding ones are Occupational Therapy, Vision Therapy and Speech Therapy (at Rusk – he will continue seeing Siobhan on a limited basis).  We had a great visit with Sal Uy, and David was able to communicate his thoughts to him, and I think it was helpful.  He was a bit put off that Sal wouldn’t consider sending him on the UNIS reunion tour to Paris, London, Brussels and Geneva that is starting today!  He was joking, of course.

We had bloodwork done this morning and had an appointment with Dr Karp, David’s primary care doctor.  He apologized for having to look up David’s case and get up to date on what had happened to David.  I told him he had a stroke, and he asked why he had a stroke.  Fortunately, he got the file and got up to speed.  We talked about when we will look at taking David off Coumadin and the pain on his side.  Anyway, when we got home, did some exercise and speech, then I made chicken with lemons and capers.  Also got a call from Occupational Therapy, and they have a week to ten day wait list, so at least I know that we are on their register.

Now, I am hoping to get to bed a little early and maybe even sleep through the night!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Today was busy with a Doctor’s appointment for me – lost a little weight (good), seem to have grown about 1/2 and inch (weird at 52) and my BP was very low (unexpected, to say the least), but alas, the gout is still rearing its ugly toe, and have started another round of Prednisone, which makes me anxious and irritable.  BaBa came to help this morning from the Selfhelp agency, and got David up and ready and also exercised with him.  Yesterday we went to see Dr. Blum, David’s neurologist, which was a good visit.  I told her that from my perspective, I thought David was a little more confused than usual in the past couple of days, and had some trouble either comprehending what was being said, or trouble in communicating what he thought was going on.  She thought that it would be a good idea to have another round of MRI/MRA’s done to make sure that there were no changes or problems.  She put the order in, and we were off to the races with the insurance company.

I was told by reception at NYU that Oxford would need to approve the procedures before they could be scheduled, and then this morning I got a call from NYU that they were approved, but that I would need to contact Oxford to make the appointments – this had to be done through their scheduling department.  They gave me the rather long reference numbers – one for each procedure, and I called Oxford.  After putting ID #, DOB, etc into their electronic phone system, I got through to an operator who asked for all that information again, and then of course, “I will need to speak to Mr. Shapiro to get his authorization for you to speak on his behalf”.  Then, the expected, “I will now need to transfer you to the scheduling folks”, and it started all over again – same info and same questions and then the reference numbers.  Then it took what seemed like 5 minutes each to get another 15 digit reference code for the three procedures.  Then to my wonder and amazement, I was asked if I needed a list of facilities where I could have the MRI/MRA’s done.  Well, no, of course I didn’t, I know where I would like to have them done, I already spoke to them, and they were told that I had to contact Oxford to schedule.  Oh, I see, I just had to call to wait and get some crazy code to give back to the radiology department to make sure that David wasn’t playing the system to have the extreme joy of rolling through a giant plastic doughnut with a hammer banging over his head for 30 minutes.  Why does it cost so much for healthcare in this country?

By now, it was almost time for David’s first Physical Therapy appointment at the outpatient facility.  We walked over – it is not a bad walk as long as the weather holds out.  We registered at the front and then payed out $40 co-payment, and grabbed a bite in the lobby, which was perfect.  It is a very nice new facility, and all under one roof – PT, OT, VT, ST and both his Physiatrist and Neurologist are there.  His new PT, Caroline Frey, was terrific, and did a lot of tests.  David particularly liked the ones where she timed him walking.  Nothing like competition and a time to beat for our David!  He also had pooh poohed the accomplishment of the stairs in San Francisco, but she had him walk up and down a small flight of stairs and he did it all by himself and may actually believe that Alex and I didn’t carry him up and down the stairs – three times – in San Francisco.

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Then, on top of the obsessing and the calendar and the gout and Oxford, I get a call from Freshdirect that due to a power outage, my delivery would not be made tonight, so the groceries I ordered to make dinner tonight would be arriving tomorrow evening just at the time I scheduled the MRI/MRA.  I was quite proud of myself when I was able to fashion a nice pasta dinner from half a box of farfalle, some feta cheese, walnuts, parsley and onion.  It was good, and I will have to write that down.

If you have read this far, I give you a lot of credit.  I am not sure I could have made it through my ravings.  Did I say that the Prednisone makes me anxious and irritable?  Neither Oxford nor United Airlines are off the hook, by the way – they were just as culpable in my anxiety and irritation as the drugs.  David, however, gets a pass.